Loves Gossip

It happened in Vegas, her boy whom she was riding with in an Escalade near the Wynn was busted for a drug related DUI and she had a little bit of blow on her…but of course it wasn’t hers.

It’s not even safe being a clay figure anymore. This guy Takena has some sick brilliant stuff.

Heidi Montag is an idiot. What a low class whore. Frank did a great job on her, I’ll give her that, but to USE his shockingly tragic death as a way to get publicity for herself??!! SICK, disgusting, deplorable, vile, hateful, repugnant and loathsome. Frank Ryan was a talented, hard working, accomplished, skilled, dedicated man. He helped many people in many ways. His kindness and enthusiasm for life was something special. Some of his most famous clients, the ones who keep their mouths shut about it, are a million times more famous than that loser waste of space, Heidi Montag. How low can she go? Need I ask. Her use of this tragedy as a way to get her name in the news is so transparent and a testament to the blackness of her heart and the true shallowness of her nonexistent soul. May her despicably evil exploitation of the death of this wonderful man come back on her a thousandfold. Her so-called career is already nonexistent. Minute 14 and ticking. Get a career, grow a soul Heidi and do something worthwhile so you don’t need to use other people’s tragedy to get your name in the press.

By Lex Gable

©2010 Love’s Gossip. All Rights Reserved.

WOMAN DIES FROM DEADLY SILICONE BUTT INJECTIONS

Plastic surgery is always risky, but can you really die from silicone butt implants? Absolutely. That’s exactly what happened to Mayra Lissette Contreras. What caused respiratory problems in this poor woman? The silicone injections turned into plastic in her body. When singer/actress Cher heard this story, she responded; “That’s weird; my body’s 80% plastic; and I’m perfectly healthy.”

I’m shocked; most women die from trying to make their asses SMALLER! But it’s not Contreras’s fault; the only mistake she made was choosing the wrong “doctors”. The women responsible for her terminal implants are two sisters who’ve been posing as cosmetic surgeons (in Slymar, CA), and now they’re on the run from the law!

{FACT: When silicone is used for breast implants, it’s medical grade and placed in the body in a capsule. However, “underground” cosmetic surgeons inject large amounts of industrial silicones. What’s wrong with this? Well, it may only cause heavy scarring, breathing problems and….oh, yeah – DEATH. These pseudo-surgeons are literally eliminating the middle man.}
The 2 sisters – Guadalupe and Alejandra Viveros – have already been arrested for practicing medicine without a license prior to Contreras’ death. Since they never showed up for their court date, they’ve been more absent than a decent joke in an episode of “According to Jim”. Judging by her photo, I believe Alejandra has undergone plastic surgery, ‘cause her lips make Angelina’s look like an infant’s.

The sisters-in-crime advertised by passing out business cards in parking lots. The ad said, “Obtain a nice, firm buttocks.” Okay, if you can’t utilize correct grammar in your own advertisement, you probably can’t perform a proper procedure. And let’s say – for argument’s sake – these chicks were targeting a Latino demographic whose speaks English as a 3rd language. Well, how the hell do most Mexicans afford plastic surgery? The dudes who hang out in front of Home Depot can’t even afford plastic sliver ware. Coincidentally enough, police think the “Sisters Viveros” have fled to Mexico. Seriamente.

If a doctor makes a living by giving people fake body parts, it doesn’t surprise me that they have a fake license. So in attempt to help all my friends and fans, I’ve comprised a quick list of danger signs if you ever encounter this situation. So please read, learn; and above all….enjoy.

TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR PLASTIC SURGEON IS OPERATING ILLEGALLY:

10) If their office is a studio apartment, and the waiting room is a flower bed.

9) If their silicone injections look like Tupperware. If they only accept cash, but prefer pesos.

7) If their assistant is Lindsay Lohan.

6) If the patient before you walks in the doctors’ office looking somewhat normal and walks out looking like The Cryptkeeper.

5) You ask for painkillers, and they hand you a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

4) If their previous clients include The Joker from Batman and The Jigsaw Mask from the Saw movies. (By the way – why do the weird red-and-white cheeks of The Jigsaw Saw Mask look just like the Target symbol?)

3) If a patient in the waiting room has absurdly large amount of injections in only one buttock, causing one cheek to look like J-Lo’s and the other to look like a pre-teen Chinese gymnast.

2) When asked to show proof of his credentials, the doctor just says “I’m really good at the board game ‘Operation’.”

1) During your consultation for lip injections, they say “I just wanna warn you: After the operation, when someone kisses you, they’re actually kissing Star Jones’ ass.”

By Claude Stuart

©2010 Claude Stuart. All Rights Reserved.

Check out other articles by Claude Stuart

Image: ©2010 Lex Gable. All Rights Reserved.

Conversational abbreviations:

• IMHO = In my humble opinion
• AYFKMWTS = Are you f—-ing kidding me with this s—-?
• GTFOOH = Get the f—- out of here
• OH = Overheard
• FW = No f—-ing way
• IRL = In real life
• NSFW = Not safe for work
• FML = F—- my life
• FWIW = For what it’s worth
• QOTD = quote of the day
• BTW = By the way
• BFN = Bye for now
• AFAIK = As far as I know
• TY = Thank you
• YW = You’re welcome

Technical Twitter abbreviations:

• MT = Modified tweet. This means the tweet you’re looking at is a paraphrase of a tweet originally written by someone else
• RT = Retweet. The tweet you’re looking at was forwarded to you by another user
• DM = Direct message. A direct-message is a message only you and the person who sent it can read. Important: To DM someone all you need to type is D username message
• PRT = Partial retweet. The tweet you’re looking at is the truncated version of someone else’s tweet
• HT = Hat tip. This is a way of attributing a link to another Twitter user
• CC = Carbon-copy. Works the same way as email

AND, here’s the good news text-aholics, you can use them when TEXTING too. Whoopee.

Pummled by bottles and stones, the embattled  semi-lesbian, MySpace “used-to-be” star came out a little worse for the wear. After taking the stage at an INSANE CLOWN POSSE / KOTTONMOUTH KINGS concert, the concert goers were not happy to see her because they proceeded to hurl stones, rocks, beer bottles and firecrackers at her head and face. Poor little thing, she can’t be more than 4’8″ on her tiptoes and probably weighs 85 lbs. Suffice it to say, this WAS NOT her crowd.

Wait it gets worse, they took the poo out of a porta potty and threw that at her too. Was she trying to sing? Maybe that was the problem. Stick to internet porn and lesbian dating shows Tila. It may be safer.

Even all bloodied, Tila is still workin’ it for the camera. Internet stardom….easy come….easy go, and if you try to overstay your 15 minutes you shall be stoned apparently.

By Lex Gable

©2010 LovesGossip. All Rights Reserved

Xtranormal.com ROCKS. The videos people are making with it are a scream. This was mine. It’s definitely R rated, graphic language and kind of rude. If you are easily offended, don’t watch it.

KANSAS CITY, Missouri – This kid, Brian Maupin, who btw has over 6 million views on his hilarious video, is a Best Buy employee. Brian created the cartoon video about the iPhone 4 versus the HTC EVO phone. Watch it, it’s gets funnier and funnier as it goes along. Well he has been suspended and may be fired after he posted this satirical video on YouTube . So he loses his menial, minimum wage  job at Best Buy. SO WHAT!? He has become an internet entrepreneur. SCREW BEST BUY. This kid has an audience of 6 million!! The potential advertising dollars alone are more than he makes at Best Buy IN A YEAR, and the publicity? Good God. Walk away kid! You have bigger fish to fry if you are smart enough to take advantage of your good fortune.

The video became so popular, more than 6 million views on YouTube as of Thursday, someone at Best Buy saw it, or someone at work ratted him out which is more likely. Those duds at Best Buy corporate did not find it amusing, but really did you expect them to? When they realized the creator, OMG, worked for them, they asked him to take the video down. Maupin refused to take the video down because it didn’t mention Best Buy, he was suspended. Good Boy! You GO Brian. They were just jealous the kid has more viewers of his video than they had on the Best Buy retail site.

“I can understand them wanting to, not wanting people to get the impression that Best Buy is like this and this is how it is when you come to our store but you also kind of have to have that, you have to be able to laugh at yourself and say I realize this is an extreme exaggeration. This isn’t what is happening at this store,” Maupin said.

This kid can go far. I hope he leaves Best Buy in his dust. PS: Don’t buy your iPhone at Best Buy, they will bag on you behind your back.

She’s a retired porn babe who claimed sexual harassment against HP CEO which lead to him quitting and raking in a cool $28M severance package. Sounds like a good deal to me.  So the CEO,  Hurd bought this broad a few dinners on the HP tab, SO WHAT! So she posed for a few cheesy topless Texas cowgirl pix. Big Deal. Why does it matter? Do you really think most of these top CEOs don’t have a few hookers stashed, escorts on speed dial, VIP cards at the Bunny Ranch and mistresses in every town? Of couse they do. The AAAALLL do. Rich powerful men have hoes galore. Haven’t met one yet that doesn’t. This guy was no different. How does that impede his ability to do his damn job? It doesn’t.

Bimbo in question, Jodie Fisher’s adult carreer has a second wind now. He has the $28M,  she is in Playboy, it’s a win-win. The only losers are the HP stockholders. Playboy has now posted an additional 15 shots of Fisher from the same shoot for members of its premium website. They have a kind of, Texa Tech, dorm room theme. Very cute. Check it out. Oh, btw, she is not 50. These were taken a few years back.